Life

It's been a little while since I last posted (about 2 months to be exact - that seems to be the average), so I thought I would share my thoughts. Just a warning - not sure where this is going, but I have things on my mind, so reader beware.

Most recently, we lost my grandma. She was 91 years old and had lived a great life, and she was ready to go, but as far as I knew, she was in great shape and we did not expect her to pass away any time soon; so, needless to say, it was a shock. And it hurt. Alot - and still does. I can't believe she is gone. I keep thinking about the phone call from my dad telling me she had passed away. (They had taken her to the hospital b/c she couldn't breath very well and her heart was beating irregularly - which was strange b/c she never had heart trouble.) I keep thinking about her, sitting in her chair in their house. I had checked on them a couple weeks before she died. She seemed to be going pretty good. She was recovering from a fractured pelvis and bronchitis - but again, she seemed to be doing really well. And Adam went by there later in the week and said she was doing good. They said she ended up having a clot in her lung caused from her irregular heart beat. I miss her, a bunch! I was going to go over there this winter and learn to crochet with her; neither one of us knew how, but we both wanted to and I thought it would be fun and give her something to do. She is now in heaven with our babies - meeting them for the first time, along with a grandson, Josiah, that passed away around 10 years ago, along with other family members. I know that I will see her again, but it's so hard to have to wait. My grandpa has finally understood she's gone, I think. He has a slight touch of Alzheimer's. It took a few days. Because of his Alzheimer's, he can't be by himself, so they've moved him in with a full-time caregiver, which has been hard on him, although it sounds like he's adjusting to it. Please pray for him though, he's not saved and is also 91 years old. He's also very stubborn. But when we talked to him the few days after Grandma died, he seemed to realize he's not going to heaven the way is, which I think is an improvement; he used to think that he could get to heaven for being a good guy. The prayers we've all been praying seem to be working, which is great. I've been praying for him since I was old enough to know how to pray.

Recently we found out that my aunt - my dad's sister-in-law - has stage 4 breast cancer. She had found a few years ago and won - it had been in remission, but then it reared back and by the time they knew it was back, it was stage 4. Neither she nor my uncle are Christians, which makes it harder. My parents are going to fly out and see them right before Christmas. Please pray for both her and my uncle. Her name is Chong and his is Charles, and she has a daughter, Kim, who is a year older than me.

Work is still going well. There have been a few rough days, but all-in-all, it's still a lot of fun. I'm doing several more things there now, which is nice. It's still a learning experience! And I thought I had "banking experience." :) Hehe.

It has been a frustrating few months for Adam and I. Not too many people know this, but we have been trying to have kids - for almost a year and a half now. I have PCOS, which is making it very difficult. I've been doing some research on it and if I can just loose 10 pounds, it should help - "should" being the key word. There's no guarantee, though. I'm about to the point of looking into other options, aside from meds. I hate drugs (Rx, that is) and I try to avoid them at all costs and right now that's all I've been told to do. Try 2 different meds, that is. I've tried them, but they didn't help, and maybe I didn't give them enough time to work, but I didn't like being on them. I'm not sure what to do at this point. All I know is that depression has set in full-force (a symptom of PCOS), and, like I said it has been a difficult few months (mixed in with grandma dying and I have been a wreck). It seems like more and more people we know are having kids, and I am excited for them, don't get me wrong, but it's just getting harder I guess. Several of them are now getting ready to deliver the baby, and tonight I was thinking about on the way home. It hit me hard. I am just wanting one really bad - I am soooo ready, even ready to go through the pregnancy, which I was so scared of the first time I was pregnant. Maybe the new year will bring in a nice surprise. We'll just have to wait and see I guess.

Well, Thanksgiving is now over. I think it went by too fast. We had 4 Thanksgivings to attend - we made all but 1. Thankfully, only 1 had turkey and it was a smoked one, which was good. I also tried making a turkey this year (so, I guess we had 5 Thanksgivings and 2 had turkey). :) I bought a 5 pounder at Wal-Mart and cooked it this past Sunday. It wasn't too bad, I definitely learned from the experience, though. Don't brush it with vegetable oil - doesn't taste good; my mom uses butter, which I learned after I had already brushed the oil on. Rachel Ray has nothing on me. :) Hehe. We also made stuffing, rolls, green bean casserole and baked beans (complements of my mom). And then lemon bars and peanut butter fudge. :) Mmmm....

So, since Thanksgiving is over and fall is coming to a close, that means Christmas is on its way. I am not sure I'm quite ready for that. We decorated the bank earlier this week (apparently, I am the only 1 of the 4 girls who likes to decorate, so I did everything but put up the tree) :), which was fun. And our bank president brought an iPod and has been playing Christmas music all week. Normally we don't have any music playing, so it has been nice (something about having to have a license to play it at a commercial building). I am looking forward to seeing some family members that we didn't get to see at Thanksgiving, though. It just seems like the meaning of Christmas is lost anymore. And I despise that. The focus should be on Christ - instead it's about the presents we get. This will also be the first Christmas we celebrate without Grandma, which won't be the same. Every year we went over there, she would read the Christmas story, and we would all sit around and listen and then we would pass out the presents and watch everyone open them. It was always a lot of fun. She will be greatly missed.

Well, it's getting late and I need to get to bed. I hope you all have a great weekend!