So why did we decide to adopt? And why international adoption?
To answer the first question - why did we decide to grow our family through adoption? To be honest, adoption was really never on our radar. I do remember having a conversation that had something to do with adoption with my mom when I was younger. I remember her telling me she could see me having a "bunch of little black babies running around." However, once I got married all I could think about was having my "own" children. Shortly after our 1 year anniversary (like 2 days) I actually found out I was pregnant. Totally unplanned and totally unexpected. We were scared! Oh my goodness! Totally freaking out probably would be a more accurate description. After going to the doctor I found out I was actually about 6 weeks along already (we'd had a lot of stuff going on - finishing up my second year of college, which meant finals and all that great stuff, packing up our stuff and moving about 800 miles away and to top it all off, the first week I was down there we totaled our car - so needless to say, paying attention to my body was not on my to-do list). After the initial shock wore off we really began to get excited. We came home for Christmas and my mom took me maternity top shopping and bought me a CD (one of Casting Crowns') and I bought a few things for baby-to-be. Long story short, we lost him (and we really believed it would have been a boy) when I was about 10 weeks along.
We officially began "trying" to have children a couple years later. We once again got pregnant about 4 months after trying, but ended up miscarrying that child as well. After that, we decided to try and figure out what was "wrong." They told me I had PCOS, but never seemed to think I would have trouble conceiving again. We tried some low-key infertility treatments, but those didn't seem to work. So after several months and hundreds of dollars later, I was done. I couldn't handle it any more. I was tired of the disappointment and the hurt that came month after month, negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test. I was at the end of myself so I finally handed our family planning to God - which is what we should have done to begin with. It was at this point that adoption officially entered the picture.
At first, and as it it with most men, my hubby didn't even want to have "that" conversation. He didn't want to give up on having our "own" kids. But after much prayer, we finally started to have a conversation about adopting a child. I had met a sweet friend a few years earlier and she and her husband had adopted a little boy from a private orphanage in Taiwan. It was the first place that came to mind. After contacting her and then the orphanage owner, I really began to get excited! However, another snag came up - hubby wanted a little girl and I wanted a little boy. So, I began praying that if we were to adopt a little girl from Taiwan, God would open my heart to it. And He did! I didn't hear anything back from the orphanage owner, Ted, for several months (we were waiting to get an application) and then we heard that the doors were actually closed to new applicants at the orphanage - my heart sank! But out of the blue, Ted emailed me and said that because I had requested an application before they closed the doors that he would still accept our application! I wanted to jump for joy!
And so we began the journey to our sweet baby girl (we "officially" started our journey August 21, 2010)! I remember praying a couple months before we were matched with her, that we could have a baby by Christmas. Well, Christmas came and went and we didn't hear anything. My heart sank. The first of the year rolled around and a few snags came up, but thankfully they were quickly taken care of. We were 6 months into the process when we finally got "the call!" The one we'd been waiting for...the one that finally told us we were finally parents! And to top it all off, they told us they were calling her "Christmas Baby" because, get this, yes, she'd been born Christmas morning! Wow! God had heard and answered that prayer for a baby by Christmas!!! And then we got the first picture...
Oh my sweet baby! What a precious, precious baby girl! Our little girl had a face! And a beautiful one at that! I couldn't wait to get her in my arms! "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him." We finally got our "travel call" on July 22, 2011. That day couldn't get here fast enough! We arrived home as a family of 3 on August 8. So, there it is - "the story" on how we arrived at adoption, and the way that God grew our family.
For the second question - why international adoption? Some would say there are plenty of kids in the US that need a home. And they're right. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with adopting from here in the states. If you feel like that's where God is calling you, then go for it! But it wasn't for us. There are too many snags here in the states. If you are fortunate enough to get an infant, the birth mom gets 6 months to change her mind. And oftentimes, you may have to spend 3-4 weeks in the state that you adopt the child from (we only spent 1 week in Taiwan). Or if you go through the foster system, that child may be pulled out of your home only to be put back in a terrible situation. With overseas adoptions, once you have that last court date (called an AIT appointment in Taiwan), that child is yours - forever! Once you bring that baby home, the birth mother (or father) can't come back and take you to court and challenge you for custody of that baby. After loosing 2, there was no way I could handle "loosing" another. I can't even imagine.
So, bringing a child into your home physically through adoption may not be something God calls you to do, but if you call yourself a Christian, caring for orphans is something we are all supposed to do. How you do it may differ from how we did it, but you do need to be involved. There are as many ways to be involved as there are professional football teams. You just need to open your heart and pray for God's direction. You'll be amazed to see what God can do with a willing heart!
Questions? Feel free to email me - our next adoption at hotmail.com. I would love to talk about adoption with you!
I can't imagine our life without our baby girl! She never ceases to amaze us! God answered all of our prayers and then some when He blessed us with her!
