Applying the "Connecting While Correcting" Approach

So, since you have read about some of the tools involved in "connecting while correcting", now what?

The "Connecting While Correcting" approach can also be called "trust-based parenting". Believe it or not, while applying this to your parenting, it can also help your marriage. This video will explain it a little more.

The key principle for "connecting while correcting" is that you should always apply the least amount of correction necessary to stop and correct the behavior. This is referred to as the Levels of Response, which are:

• Level 1: Playful Engagement - you try to redirect the child's behavior with playful engagement
• Level 2: Structured Engagement - attempt to redirect through choices
• Level 3: Calming Engagement (aka "the train has stopped") - for verbally aggressive behaviors, attempt to redirect with "time-in" or "think-it-over"
• Level 4: Protective Engagement - this is for when the child has become a danger to himself or those around him, you attempt to redirect through physical interruption of the physical aggression

Something to remember for parents is that while "connecting while correcting" is "not over 'til it's over...and when it's over, it's over." We need to let things go and not rehash them. As soon as the behavior has stopped, parents should return to a state of playful engagement.

IDEAL Response
Developed by Dr. Purvis is an effective way for parents to remember and apply the "connecting while correcting" approach:

• Immediate (don't wait until Daddy is home - at least for most scenarios)
• Direct (deal with the issue at hand)
• Efficient
• Action-based (it's not person/identity-based)
• Leveled at the behavior, not at the child

This is most definitely a team effort! Mommies and Daddies need to get on board and get on the same page when it comes to raising the kids.