First, let me say you're about to embark on a wonderful {albeit somewhat painful} journey! But what is there in life worth having that you didn't have to work hard {and shed a few tears} for?! It is seriously so worth it! And our God has a heart for orphans and blesses the families that will, too!
If you're still hesitant, pray, pray, pray and then pray some more! Not that you haven't been up to this point, but seriously...you can't have enough prayer! Talk...have lots and LOTS of conversations with your spouse! If you're a female reading this, understand that men process this much slower than women. I was ready to adopt about 6 months before my hubby was. And that's okay. I think that's one of the beautiful ways God made men and women different. Men are thinkers! Women, well, we run on emotion...if we're being honest. And again, that's okay...but, anyway, keep praying and keep talking. Don't give up on him if he doesn't seem interested (and as hard as it may seem, don't push him!). Men also want to have "their own" baby, to pass on the family genes, and again, nothing wrong with this. Keep loving and pray for God to open his heart and then be ready to have that discussion with him.
Don't let what anyone outside of you, your spouse and God dictate what you do. Even Christians may try and dissuade you from adoption, especially if you haven't had your "own" children yet. Be prepared to be bombarded with questions - why?, when?, where?, how? and probably why? several more times. Technically it's "none of their business" but look at it as an opportunity to witness to those around you and tell them of the beautiful picture it paints of what Christ did for us!
Join some facebook groups, look up blogs (you may even find some that are written by families who have adopted from the country you're interested in!), talk to your close friends and share your heart with them. Ask them to pray for wisdom, direction and discernment. Ask them to pray that God will open the right doors at the right time. And, as long as they aren't closed to the idea of you adopting, ask them to begin praying even now for your child!
There are soooo many children {164 million and counting!} that need a home! You can be their "forever family!" You might also be the only "Christ" they ever see! You don't have to be perfect to adopt. You don't have be a millionaire to adopt. You don't have to have a huge or perfect house to adopt. You just have to have an open heart and love to give and YOU can make a difference!
There are many, many countries to choose from, each with pros and cons {now, I'm speaking realistically...you need to be aware of everything that goes on with that country and with the particular program you choose; don't go in uneducated!}. Research, research, research. Seriously. Don't go in with blinders on! Especially if you go through a particular agency! {We were blessed to find a private orphanage to go through and avoided having to use an agency.} Unfortunately there are scam artists just like with anything else in this world. Be careful! This is another reason why it's very important to cover your adoption journey in prayer! And another reason to hook up with other families if possible.
I have found 2 "lists" of waiting children as well, if you feel like God is calling you to a little bit older child {some of these kids can be as young as 9 months old, but in general, they're probably 2 and older} or a "special needs" child {and this may be something as simple as a cleft palate or even the older children, who are 100% healthy are considered "special needs"}. The first is: www dot precious dot org and the other is www dot rainbowkids dot com. The second one also has complied a HUGE list of agencies and the countries they serve as well. Here is another site I stumbled upon: www dot creatingafamily dot org
Again, welcome to this wonderful journey! God commands us to care for the widows and the orphans and this is one way that we can do that! It's not for the faint of heart but you will be surprised at just how big of a community of supporters you'll find! We've gained an awesome family and met some wonderful people through the miracle of adoption. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world!
If you'd like to talk, vent, ask questions, feel free to email me at monteefamily at gmail dot com. God bless you as you start this journey!
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